As a parent of a AS girl, I realised there are many things I would like to find out eg puberty but it is quite impossible because nowadays I don't take my girl to school. Thus, I don't get to meet parents of older special needs girls. During Club Rainbow outings, I didn't get to chit-chat either because by chance, those that I met, although few years older than my girl but were 'blessed' with no menstruation .... not yet. I wish my girl has no menstruation forever, I was frighten of that big day. What if my house is stained with blood every month? What if my girl end up with severe pain like a 12 years old normal girl that I met in KK Hospital, year 2014 ....worries and fear.
KKH doesn't recommend that I remove my girl's ovary. They felt I am cruel. Gynae commonly prescribed pills (contraception pill). What about the inconveniences and 'horror' .... nobody cares how I felt and the long-term stress, the ordeal with blood! Do take note, my maid is taking care of my girl when I am working full-time. Nowadays, maids want an easy job. She may leave and the next person may also be frightened off.
I chat on Facebook with some AS parents in the overseas, they recommended giving pill with some wipe cream for easier swallowing. By eating pills, the menses will not come every month. Tried to get into the puberty Facebook page that they recommended but was rejected because I refused to use my real name. The page owner felt I wasn't sincere or afraid I am a pervert (fake AS parent) trying to learn their secrets/invade their privacy. Can't blame them. I have my privacy to protect so I am not using my real name or real pictures in this blog.
I decided that her milestones, our experience may benefit other Spore parents with a special needs girl. Till date, I am still learning. Each special child is unique, they may not develop the same 'symptoms' or learning hurdles but parenting them is the same .... lonely and may not be fully understood, supported by other family members and friends.
One of my friend's girl (same age) had her first menses one month later than my girl. From a girl who is 8 years seizure free, the start of menses triggered seizure. Another friend warned me to be careful. Said she knew a child who died due to the 'kick-off' of puberty.
FIRST MENSTRUATION
20 Nov 2015, my girl had her first menstruation. Probably the obvious sign she displayed was scratching her private part - vulva. Few days ago, a quick glance, I thought her vulva has wrinkles. Day 2 of her menses, when I was washing her bottom before wearing a new diaper, I realised it was newly grown hair. My girl's breast started to develop a few months after her 12th birthday. I was getting cold feet, fear and worries .... finally her big day arrived. Once thing good about not being toilet trained is that she's still wearing diaper. Thus, maid was able to detect blood on her diaper. Phew .... Don' be too happy, who knows my mischievous and highly curious girl decides to pull off her diaper to examine or play .... faint!
Day 1 - her 'lady' transition was not that frightening. Didn't see her show any obvious sign. Touch wood, no pain detected. Sleep wasn't disturbed.
Day 2 - morning, her soiled adult diaper contained more urine than menses. Night time, due to prolonged diaper wearing, bottom starting to see redness and itchy.
Ended on Day 5. The whole cycle was manageable. Maybe as my girl grows older, I'll face more challenges then I'll have to make some drastic changes, eg removal of womb. Not something I look forward because she'll be in pain and I need to ensure she doesn't touch the wound... could be harder then changing diapers.
2nd and 3rd MENSTRUATION
Dec - just a bit of stain.
12 Jan 2016 - menses that is not heavy, lasted for about 24 hours only.
**Update**
11 months later... Menstruations were manageable. My teen is now wearing adult S size diaper.
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When will menstruation start?
No one can say exactly when your child gets her first menstrual period but she will get it sometime during puberty.
First period usually happens about 2 years after the breasts start to develop. Some girls may get their period in less than 2 years. For other girls, it may take longer. Every girl is different, and there is a wide range of normal development during puberty. A period usually lasts from 2 to 7 days. About 2 weeks after the last period, a new egg is released as the cycle repeats itself.
Some girls start puberty at age 8 and others may start as late as 13 or 14. Each girl goes at her own pace. So don't think you're weird if you start puberty a little earlier or a little later than your friends.
Boys and girls both begin to grow hair under their arms and their pubic areas (on and around the genitals). It starts out looking light and thin. Then, as kids go through puberty, it becomes longer, thicker, heavier, curlier, and darker.
Girls' bodies usually become curvier. Their hips get wider and their breasts develop, starting with just a little swelling under the nipples. Sometimes one breast grows more quickly than the other, but most of the time they even out. Girls may start wearing bras around this time, especially if they are involved in sports or exercise classes.
Update on 25 Aug 2016
The only + I have for wearing diaper ...a the age of 13+ is that it captures menstruation, fully wrapped and my life didn't turn out scary and gloomy.
It was really hard to find an adult diaper that is slightly bigger than Drypers Wee Wee XXL (a cheap and biggest XXL diaper in the market), that is about 22" waist. Most hypermarts, supermarkets, etc sell diapers from M size onwards. Parents like me are stuck with a diaper too small or a gigantic diaper with waist 32" onwards.... you simply can't wrap well. It is too big so urine will flow out. Big doesn't mean good coverage and great protection.... useless, waste of money! I have purchased adult diaper of waist 28"... that's the smallest online... not cheap, no good, too big.
Just want to share I found Dr P 包大人 adult diaper S size, 18 pieces at Giant IMM S$10.80. It is big (for my girl) but not that huge compared to M size. When I posted this post, I have visited Giant IMM a few times but the pink packing small size diaper wasn't available for sale. The only thing no good about this Dr P is that it is in non breathable plastic. Also the tape can't be resealed if you're toilet training.
Was told this size can be found in Fairprice Joo Koon warehouse/mega store. You need membership to buy.... would anybody be keen to waste money on membership and don't forget, you can't teleport the diapers home. You either drive to stock up or take a taxi back.... it is a chore and heavy! 2019
It's really not easy to buy Small size adult diaper from the rack (supermarkets) so after doing lots of homework, last year, I found Dr P diapers online. Buy 6 cartons with discount from the website, each pack cost around $9.50, WITH DELIVERY. This is a good deal for parents like me who don't own a car. Now small size is just nice for my teen, I think I need to look for medium size soon ... well, on the bright side, medium size can be purchased much more easier than small size adult diapers.
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